How to Show Someone You Love Them

Before reading Gary Chapman's, "The Five Love Languages," I used to believe there were very limited ways to really communicate that you love someone beyond just telling them. I think it's an important book in that it points out not every way out there of telling someone "I love you" works to the same degree. You have to factor in a person's "love language."

In this article, I'll provide different ways to show someone you love them. You can also visit Gary Chapman's website by clicking here.

1) Compliment them on something that's personally important to them.
This could have something to do with work or a hobby. It helps if you're saying something in public that builds them up. It also feels good to have something nice said behind your back make it's way to you.

2) Take an interest in what they're doing even if it's not something you'd normally do.
You may not be a sports fan or like the same type of movie, but go anyway just to spend time with them.

3) Listen.
Really listen. It's a simple act that's very meaningful to a lot of people.

4) Surprise them with a gift.
Not just on Valentine's Day (hopefully not really a surprise) but on a typical day where it really would be unexpected. Pay attention to what a person finds interesting and base the gift on that.

5) Do something nice for them around the house so they can spend that time doing something they enjoy.
The gift of time is a very good gift, especially for moms who have hectic schedules.

6) Hugs for no particular reason--they're free and never get old.

7) Little notes or messages.
I remember finding an "open me" word document on my laptop one day. Not remembering putting it on there myself, I found it said "I love you!" from my husband in the biggest font Microsoft Word could produce. You can leave Post-It notes on mirrors, dashes of cars, etc.

8) Taking the person to his or her favorite activity or restaurant.
Again, you may or may not personally have the same tastes, but that's what makes it an act of love.

These are mainly just starting points. Ideally, you want to pick out things that will be unexpected to the person as far as timing and still fit their personality.

How to Combine Bank Accounts After Marriage

With financial problems being the number one cause of divorce, combining your finances is a very important part of coming together as a married couple. There may be a part of you that fears it, but keeping your finances separate will hurt you long term. I honestly don't think you can look at sharing your finances in purely logical terms-what's in your heart has to be in the equation as well. In this article, I will share tips on how to make the transition easier.

1) Before you get married and physically combine the bank accounts, there are some things you can do while you're engaged.

I definitely suggest pre-marriage counseling and attending some financial classes. These will help determine your attitudes about money and make sure you're in agreement over your goals. Neither of you are going to be perfect or expect the other person to be, but it helps to know your strengths as well as areas you need to work on.

Shortly after getting married, my husband and I attended a day-long auditorium-style class taught by the author and financial counselor Dave Ramsey and later took a 13-week course of similar material. There are similar resources everywhere in the country. It's just a matter of admitting to yourself that you need it, and nearly everyone does since finances are rarely taught in school.

2) When you physically began combining the accounts, it's a good idea around the same time to create a budget as a couple.

This does not have to be anything overly-complicated or limiting. You just need to know on a monthly basis where your money is going.

There's also nothing wrong with having "fun money" for each of you to spend for yourselves, but with a budget you know you're not accidentally spending money for the electric bill, etc.

3) There's also the issue with "your debt" and "your spouse's debt" become "our debt."

You have to work together to clean messes up if you want to be a financially stable couple and later family.

If you take this attitude that your spouse should clean up their own mess without any help, the problem likely won't get solved. It's in working together that you can get a lot more accomplished and hold each other accountable.

More Tips:

• All of this is not going to happen overnight, and you're not going to do it perfectly starting out. That's okay though as long as you keep trying. The result after thinking this way for 3 years for us is a stronger marriage and better finances than we had as individuals.
• If you really feel strongly about not combining finances, you may need to explore the underlying reasons why. Money itself is likely not the true problem in those situations.

How to Have a Debt-Free Wedding

Money is the number one cause of fights in a marriage and the number one cause of divorce. More and more people are realizing the importance of starting a marriage off on a solid financial foundation. In this article, I will address ways that you can save money and still have a beautiful wedding. You may have to do things a little different than most people, but it can be well worth it.

1) The first thing you need to do is start planning as early as possible.

This will ensure you don't have to make impulse decisions. You need to decide the size of the wedding you want to have and start figuring out basics such as location, number of guests, reception location, etc.

Unless you're totally fixed on a certain location, try checking with several. My husband and I checked with the church we were attending while in college--they let us rent out the church, provided a wedding organizer and sound engineer, and gave us access to their lobby for a reception. Total cost--$150. We couldn't believe it. All you have to do sometimes is just ask.

2) For us, my dress was the most expensive single purchase of the wedding.

I found the perfect one at a bridal shop, and not knowing any better I just thought it would be fine to get my accessories there as well. I knew the dress was pretty expensive, and I was honestly caught up in the moment when they rang everything up.

By the time we got home and looked at the receipt, I realized that over 1/3 of the total price had been for a pair of shoes and a veil (basically consisting of thin mesh with a few sparkles thrown in)! We went back to the store, which said "sorry, no cash refunds--only trade credit." Fortunately we were able to use the money to get an entire dress for one of my bridesmaids. I later ended up getting nearly the same items for about 10% of the bridal shop accessories.

My husband decided to rent his tux, and the company we went through gave us a package deal where he got his free because we had 3 groomsmen and a ring bearer. They were really reasonable on everything.

I liked my dress, but I wouldn't have considered it wrong to rent one either. I was originally going to sell mine afterwards, but the market is saturated with a lot of women trying to do the same thing. I later decided to keep it.

3) Consider ordering some of your things online directly from manufacturers.

I mainly mean your invitations, party favors, cake decorations, cake cutting utensils, glasses, etc. If you save money on these items, it gives you more room to splurge on other areas.

Do some shopping around with your rings, photography, flowers, and catering. Music can be done live or on a CD mix that can be ran through most speaker systems. Talk with friends and family and get recommendations from them. This is why it's so important to give yourself plenty of time.

4) Have fun with the process.

We actually enjoyed being involved more in the process as opposed to having everything done for us. On the day of the wedding, we were the least stressed-out of everyone in the church. We had a beautiful wedding. Everyone thought we'd spent a lot more than what we actually did, and more importantly everyone had fun.

As a general bit of last advice, make it about each other and the event. Keep it simple. The less distractions you have, the better the wedding will go for you.

I wish you the best in your marriage and in life!

More Tips:

• Check with your local college's broadcasting or media department. You may be able to get some students to do your wedding as a project to film and edit. Something that would cost you thousands from a production company can be done for a couple of hundred that way. It's a win-win situation for everyone. The same can happen with still photography as well.
• Don't let people pressure you into spending more than you've planned. It's the hardest thing to resist in this whole process.