"Why are you so darn happy all the time?" a co-worker of mine asked me once about a year ago as she passed my cubicle. The question caught me off-guard, not only because it seemed to come out of nowhere but because of the tone she asked it. It was a mix of curiosity and annoyance. I found it kind of funny because I used to look at positive people the same way. I was a pretty negative person through high school and part of college. Mainly, I used to worry about everything and always think the worse. I finally just got tired of it once I realized how negative I thought on a daily basis. To be honest, changing your mindset takes work and won't happen overnight. I do want to share some ideas that helped me personally:
1) One of the first things you should do is listen to your words.
Part of staying positive is catching yourself when you're being negative. The whole idea of "if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all" comes into play here.
Part of staying positive is catching yourself when you're being negative. The whole idea of "if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all" comes into play here.
This applies to gossip of course, but sometimes people have a tendency to say the worst-case-scenarios for any situation. For example, if your friend sneezes, don't start talking about the flu going around. Learning when it's all right and not all right to vent how bad your day has been to someone is also a good people skill to develop.
It's hard to do sometimes, but try to limit your exposure to negative people, TV shows, music, books, and Internet content. Sometime it's easy to think stuff does not impact you, but it can on a subconscious level.
Even if you don't repeat the negative things that you hear, they can impact your overall mood. I still watch TV, but I cut my time from around 20 hours/week (which is close to the national average) to less than 10 hours/week. It did help my mood, and I didn't feel like I had buried my head in the sand in the process.
It's not all about avoiding negative. You have to replace it. You can use the good aspects of those same things I mentioned in #2.
It is amazing how getting around an upbeat group of friends can change your own attitude more than anything. Positive books I think are a close second, since you're reading the words in your own mind in the same way that you think to yourself. Most forms of media have the potential to be either positive or negative.
It is not something you have to do all the time, but think of how you react when another person goes above and beyond without you expect.
I think part of the reason people are so negative in general is they're so used to people being rude to them. The only thing we can control about that is our own behavior.
More Tips:
- Your greatest changes will come during times when most people would find it acceptable to be negative. Just realize you do have a choice and a positive attitude can get you out of hard situations a lot sooner.
- When you slip up, don't let it discourage you. No one is perfect, but at least being aware is half the battle. It's better than being negative all the time and not knowing it. The more effort you put into this, the easier it will get down the road.
- Don't confuse being positive with putting on a front. This should mainly be a change from the inside out.
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